I found this too true to not post here. I'm sure most of the men on the forum can relate to it in some way too. Language warning throughout.

Pulled from this Craigslist Rant.

I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

What happened to all the nice guys?

The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you now.

Funny Funny Stuff

But nothing we all don't know already. This would be helpful if posted on myspace or something, but I don't think it's terribly relevant here. I believe Sarande is the only person of the female persuasion on this board and I don't think she's stupid enough to not already know/care/don't care about something like that. Then again I could be wrong =p

Also: Craigslist lol

I found it via stumbleupon. Craigslist has no bearing on me as it seems to be aimed solely at the USA, so i only ever see the funny stuff posted on it thanks to the magic of stumbleupon.

Now if only i could find that great post about some nerd gal offering sex if somebody bought her an epic flying mount in WoW, that made me laugh so hard.

this is great :D

That WoW mount part would make me lolcakes.

omfg I don't know where to start with how wrong this is.

So I won't.

Sarande:
omfg I don't know where to start with how wrong this is.

So I won't.

Good cuz your opinion is hereby null and void.

Now go bake me a pie! (pumpkin)

Greever:

Sarande:
omfg I don't know where to start with how wrong this is.

So I won't.

Good cuz your opinion is hereby null and void.

Now go bake me a pie! (pumpkin)

AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH WOMAN!

*fumes out ears*

I hope the sammich is a torte.

Cicadymn:
I hope the sammich is a torte.

You almost had me sufficiently distracted.

I keep turning this post over in my mind, and I keep wanting to turn the auto-rant on. Abridged version: girls want male friends too. Males just want to sleep with every girl they like. Problem created.

Sarande:
Males just want to sleep with every girl they like. Problem created.

False: We only want to sleep with hot ones.

Also: I thought for sure my sandwich torte line would have gotten you! Curses!

Cicadymn:

Sarande:
Males just want to sleep with every girl they like. Problem created.

False: We only want to sleep with hot ones.

Also: I thought for sure my sandwich torte line would have gotten you! Curses!

False: If it breathes, you'll put it in it.

Sarande:

Cicadymn:

Sarande:
Males just want to sleep with every girl they like. Problem created.

False: We only want to sleep with hot ones.

Also: I thought for sure my sandwich torte line would have gotten you! Curses!

False: If it breathes, you'll put it in it.

False as false can be.

Breathing is optional.

mrcheese:

Sarande:

Cicadymn:

Sarande:
Males just want to sleep with every girl they like. Problem created.

False: We only want to sleep with hot ones.

Also: I thought for sure my sandwich torte line would have gotten you! Curses!

False: If it breathes, you'll put it in it.

False as false can be.

Breathing is optional.

QFT

mrcheese:

Sarande:

Cicadymn:

Sarande:
Males just want to sleep with every girl they like. Problem created.

False: We only want to sleep with hot ones.

Also: I thought for sure my sandwich torte line would have gotten you! Curses!

False: If it breathes, you'll put it in it.

False as false can be.

Breathing is optional.

That was my point all along, thanks for making it for me =D

Though the point still stands that nice guys are few and far between because being an asshole gets you laid far more often and the women who desire "nice guys" are the ones that quite happily went for nothing but assholes for the first 28 years of their lives.

It's a vicious cycle. When a woman is of the age where she only dates assholes who'll end up at the welfare office and shooting small animals for dinner, nice guys are abundant but overlooked.

When a woman is of the age where she wants to settle down with a nice guy with a good career, they've all become assholes because their younger years taught them that assholes get all the women.

mrcheese:
Though the point still stands that nice guys are few and far between because being an asshole gets you laid far more often and the women who desire "nice guys" are the ones that quite happily went for nothing but assholes for the first 28 years of their lives.

It's a vicious cycle. When a woman is of the age where she only dates assholes who'll end up at the welfare office and shooting small animals for dinner, nice guys are abundant but overlooked.

When a woman is of the age where she wants to settle down with a nice guy with a good career, they've all become assholes because their younger years taught them that assholes get all the women.

Girls like guys with confidence, and many assholes have that whereas many nice guys don't. However I've found that it's nice guys with confidence that really get the girl.

Also, assholes seem like they get more girls (and they likely do) because they go through them so fast; either they get bored or the girls get bored of them. Nice guys who find a nice girl tend to have more rewarding and fulfilling relationships.

This certainly doesn't refute your point, but I think the way it's being presented is a bit one-sided. It's not just girls' fault that this happens.

It's all true, even the points made after it. Too bad WoW and Warhammer 40k have consuming my life I might had something of value to add here...tough luck for the necromaster.

Also: Girls are stupid and have cooties.

Nice has returned?! Welcome back mate.

Cicadymn:
Also: Girls are stupid and have cooties.

Well put my friend, well put.

Cicadymn:
Also: Girls are stupid and have cooties.

It was mens' philandering with monkies that spread cooties around in the first place.

Yep, more or less. I cant leave my throne of stone left cold for too long now can I? Someone has to keep it warm, might as well be me.

And lets get this straight:

Women have cooties. Men, being totally about being with women, got it from them and spread to all the children created henceforth. So it's totally worth it.

I can shoot cooties out my eyes!

Does Sarande mean Medusa in greek?

Cicadymn:
Does Sarande mean Medusa in greek?

Lower the mirror and I'll tell you...

But I'm scared T_T

Yaaaa double post!

[Insert witty comment instead]

You know back in the day I would have banned the Cicadymn/Sarande duo for spam. Just thought I'd add that. You probably wouldn't have even made it to a 100 post count...

:-D

Then you'd only have like 2-3 posts on the entire forum per month :'[

Also: It's Sarande's fault for starting it.

MY FAULT?!

Pshaw

You heard the man, it's your fault.

Also: To try an alleviate this problem I'm thinking about starting an Off Topic Off Topic thread. Where we can throw all of our randomness/stupidity/and etc that we feel like saying in there.

Then when Greever gets pissed it'll be "Off topic thread" instead of "B&"

I'll make it sometime tomorrow. Until then remember two things.

1. Welugreever
2. It's sarandes fault

Just like a man to blame all his problems on the first girl he sees.

Also, old Greever can stuff it. Newer Greever w/o ban stick = much <3 though.

*Cough* He has his B& stick *cough*