*sits down and watches* ohh goody a show! *notices truncheons.poke* look im a ladder!

I grab a card at random from the shelves, and throw it down.

It turns out to be Kuriboh, and it jumps at Pm0n3y, hugging him.

Repeatedly.

The I try to get Mewtwo to use Psychic again, but he's all out of Psychic tokens!

I desperately rip out every pokemon trading card pack in sight, and summon one of each 493 pokemon before finding the one I want, which I then use on Mewtwo, and he tries to use Psychic, but it misses, and hits Typhlosion, who goes on fire, causing just about everyone to go mental and destroy everything else.

Chaos ensues.

Repeatedly.

this is a really calm fight *walks to puppy store bleeding the whole way*

"haha, Bryghtside, you mortal fool!" I cry, dropping from the ceiling and landing with both feet on BabyEater's head. "You're pretty good at card games, but let's see how you fare in a shadow realm battle!"
I grab a Bad Guy Duel Disc off one of the shelves, rip it out of it's packaging and strap it to my arm. "It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-die, bitch!"
Suddenly, the air around us turns black, and BabyEater's soul falls into the void of shadow.

i have a soul? *looks around in blackness* i think im gonna like this

I get my good guy disk (which doesn't make much sense as I'm supposed to be the bad guy for this plotline), and straight away get Destiny Board. Ha!

I play it, and also a monster in face-down defence mode. Your move, sam!

Oh crap, Destiny Board! By your reaction, I can judge that that's a really good card!
Panicking, I run over to your side of the field and slash your throat open with a specially sharpened trading card. Then I steal your rarest card, whatever that may be.

I was about to end this battle before it began, but I decide not to. I sit down next to E.M.B and watch the duel between Sam and Sir.

Pm0n3y and EMB feel someone grabbing their heads and bashing them against each other.

They pass out, and I throw their bodies at sam.

I set fire to the bodies flying at me with a deoderant-flamethrower, then kick them back at Ren. Then I ignite Bryghtside's corpse, just for funsies.

I dodge the bodies, then jump at sam, holding my hammer.

is it hot in here to you pm?

I whack sam's face with my hammer, sending it flying and hitting Sir.

I pick the white hole card from the ground.

I draw a new face on myself with permanent marker, spy Ren with my new eyes, and break his knees with my golf clubs.

I use the white hole card to cancel the black hole, therefore saving the mall. I try to hit sam with my hammer again but it's too late. He bashes my head with a golf club and I fall dead on the ground.

*still in blackness* lil help here?

|I respawn next to EMB, and pick up my burning corpse, intending to say something like 'need a light?' to EMB before throwing my corpse on him.

Sadly, as we have already proven through many experiments, touching one's own corpse causes a time paradox.

Therefore, we all turn into out avatars, which means I become like a Brandon Flowers/Sgt. Nicholas Angel hybrid with electric powers.

This could be fun.

Repeatedly.

Saying "repeatedly" repeatedly angers the gods, ans Sir is cast into oblivion.

Meanwhile, I run around the mall, enjoying my newfound powers.
_{First Satan, now Death. This is fun!}

yay im transformed into my uber toast! my crust is win and i'm buttered with pwnage *grabs a katana and slices bryght*

I look at EMB, and he instantly turns to crumbs.

I wake up in oblivion, but not before giving Ren his new theme song.

When I get there, I decide to use my Nick powers to get a three gun and use them in the most awesome ways possible, all the time singing various Killers songs note-perfect at full volume.

This beats all of the Gods, because dazed by the awesomeness of The Killers, they all fall over, letting me shoot them up.

One guy with a crocodile head is hiding in some water, and thus does not hear the singing, so I just use my newfound electric abilities to zap him, eventually going back down the Stairway to Heaven to return to the mall.

There I see this holy burning bag of popcorn, and shoot it, smile, and then watch in horror as it transforms into a huge robot.

I run.

_Repeatedly?

I manage to catch up with sam and grab his head. His posterior inferior cerebellar artery bursts, killing him.

*respawns in a bakery and runs up to ren* mr.reaper im a big fan of your work can you autograph my crust?

by the way this'll be my theme http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16bvflt53mQ

Sure. I'll autograph it with my scythe...

I then pick up the dead EMB and use him to make a grilled cheese sandwich.

*dies and respawns right by my other corpse touching it to make another paradox turning things to normal* awww no more uber toast

NOOOOOOOOOOO! As revenge for taking away my powers, I smash EMB's eyes with my thumbs.

owwy *inflates eyes back up* that was rude *smash with giant mallet* learn your matters

*roundhouse kick to the head* Learn to spell.

*uppercuts then hits you with a bat*

*takes the bat out of your hand and beats you in the stomach*

*pulls out a katana and slices your arm off*

*runs to the nearest Gamestop, grabs an Xbox360 and beats you to death with it*

*grabs a wiimote and nunchuck then beats you with it*

*smashes your head with a Guitar Hero controller*