*knocked out* x.x

*passes out from exhaustion* x.x

*laughs at Ren and EMB. then goes to do something else*

*wakes up and throws a cream pie at pm*

*gets up, looks around, grabs a joystick, and hits Pm0n3y with it.*

*repeatedly.*

*grabs joystick after being hit for like the fifth time, and chokes SirBS with it's wire*

*Stabs Pm0n3y in the eyes with a DS stylus*

*Steals sam's stylus, puts a knife on the end and stabs sirbryghtside*

*repeatedly*

*steals all the ps3s and makes a sony bot* mwahaha

*Suddenly a monitor flickers into life* "Hello, you lot. You may wonder where i've been. You see when we turned into our avatars, I used my teleporter to summon a small portion of the clone army. I now control the entire east side of the mall. Oh and the area you are in and the surrounding shops are filled with IEDs. Good bye. *BEEP*

I wake up and see Cougar's message. With some modifications, I manage to turn a ps3 into a blu-ray launcher.

I detonate the bombs.

We all respawn. On top of your troops. Crushing them.

I then shoot a blu-ray at Cougar, decapitating him.

The me you fired the blu-ray at was a hologram and I have another 200 troops, which all open fire.

I enter the mall and grab a chicken from the pet section. I attempt to smother ScaredCougar with it.

In order to stop the massacre, I touch my own body, creating another time paradox. Gravity turns upside down, resulting in everyone flying up to the ceiling.

I hit the ceiling, but my mission is still clear: smother my foe. I press the chicken hard into Cougar's face. He is nearing death...

I shoot you in the stomach with my DC-28 blaster rifle and you go flying back.

During the gravity shift, more people end up in contact with their bodies. The staggering amount of time paradoxes results in a massive explosion, killing everyone.

I casually patch myself up with a first-aid kit, and grab some CDs. I take out the discs and lob them at Cougar. One of them slices off his head, and blood spews everywhere. I run before he can put the head back on.

Why is this new guy directing everything at me?
I respawn half dying for some reason and I realise that reality is trying to pull me out of the mall, back to Kamino. I faint.

(@ ScaredCougar: I'm not new, just not very active-I joined in August. And you have to direct something at someone!)

I take my chicken elsewhere, but it decides to try and maul my face. I desperately try and pull it off but it is no use. The chicken rips through my skin and I scream in pain.

I kick the chicken away from mario's face. Then I drop a bag of salt on the wound, ensuring he'll be in pain for a good while.

I pick up the chicken, and, before it manages to begin savaging me again, I chuck it at Ren. It immediately starts to rip his skin off and I smile viciously. Now we're both in pain.

mariosuperlative:
(@ ScaredCougar: I'm not new, just not very active-I joined in August. And you have to direct something at someone!)

He meant new to the thread.

Well, According to Ren, I've been blown up a lot.

I respawn next to the manager's office.

I knock on the door, and the manager comes out, waking from his thousand-year slumber, armed with two rocket launchers.

"You haven't been paying for anything," he says, cooly. "Now it's time for you to pay.

In blood."

I duck just before he shoots me, and hide until he goes away.

Then I hear someone scream "MAMMA-MIA!", followed by an explosion.

Probably that new Mario kid.

WHAT HAVE I UNLEASHED???

My guts splatter the wall, and I find it rather disconerting that I am in an utterly incredible amount of pain, yet I am still able to see everything. I realise my head must have come detatched, and yet I'm still alive and feeling the pain of the rest of my body.

"Someone destroy my brain!" I scream in agony. The manager laughs callously and walks away.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I barricade the corridor with some furniture and yell:

"YOU... SHALL NOT... PASS!"

I call out for help, and I then notice the chicken, who Ren has somehow managed to get rid of. It comes over to me and starts ripping my face off. The pain is the worst I have ever experienced, but once it starts to rip up my brain I'm dead and I respawn.

I spawn next to Ren, and notice him trying to stop the manager passing. Unfortunately the furniture is blasted away by the evil git, leaving Ren doomed. I rush away.

Oh, you want to do this the hard way? Fine.

I dodge a rocket, grab the chicken, and throw it at the manager. He falls to the ground, holding his face and crying in pain.

I stop to lol at the manager, but the chicken suddenly flies back, covered in acid...oh god...it seems the manager has an ability we didn't foresee. I run to grab the rocket launcher but the manager pins me to the ground. I see the chicken burn up, and the manager points his finger at me. Acid spews from his skin...

The rocket launcher spins through the air and I grab it.

I point it at the managers arm and shoot, making him hit the wall with a stream of acid.

The manager screams in pain but his arm reheals. Turns out this guy is far more deadly than we thought. Since it's the most logical thing to do, I run the hell away but find myself being poked sharply in the leg. I turn to see...

...the acid covered chicken, attempting to rip me apart before it dies! It leaps at me and covers me in the acid. My skin starts to burn and I scream, kicking the chicken to the ground. I grap a video game box and beat the chicken to death savagely.

The acid is unstoppable and has covered my entire body...obviously I die, and subsequently respawn...right next to a very angry manager.

The manager grabs mario and throws him at me. I dodge him, shoot a rocket at the manager's face and run away.

I grab onto a passing cricket bat from the sports section and crash into the ground. I rush towards the manager and wack him in the face multiple times.

"OH GOD! MY ONLY WEAKNESS...THE CRICKET BAT!" The manager wails and falls back. It's time to finish him, it's time...

The chicken, all of its fur burnt off and its chickenhood almost impossible to spot, rushes towards me. I am about to strike the fatal blow with the cricket bat when the chicken leaps at my throat and tears off the skin. Blood pours from my neck and I scream. I swing the cricket bat, but I do not have enough power to reach the manager. It falls to the ground, and the manager destroys it with acid.

"I've discovered how to control respawns" the manager hisses. "Time to kill you for good."

I hit the manager in the head with a bowling ball. His skull caves in and blood squirts everywhere.