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Mall Fight!

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Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

My brain... Well, I didn't have much use for that anyway. I pick up the remains of my brain and use my last medkit to heal wounds.

I enter the nearby music store and pick up several CDs.

Master Looter
Posts: 1283
Joined: 24 Apr 2009

(wasn't there a no guns rule?)
I somehow survive but with caved in skull, i grab the shotgun from you hands and waste 5 bullets on your limbs, now immobilized i eat your corpse will you scream..........
(that's what you get for breaking the no guns rule!)

Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

I get out of the music store and throw a CD at Excitednuke, severing his carotid artery.

"BAD NUKE! Hom many times have I told you not to eat people!?"

I then throw another CD at Malevolent.

"And that's what you get for blowing my brains out!"

Dungeon Crawler
Posts: 633
Joined: 28 Jun 2009

Malevolent respawns several feet away in his closet. He runs up to the level with the stero, and pulls out a Hannah Montanna CD. He broadcasts "ATTENTION EVERYONE! THE GAME! THAT IS ALL." He then puts on Hannah Montanna, locking the door shut, himself inside. The door is a Fallout 3 style vault door.

Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

"AHHHHRGHHHHH!!! Hannah Montana, my only weakness! How did you know?"

I throw CDs at the speakers and go back to the hardware store... That door is going down, one way or another.

Who's Alix, did I miss something?

Adventurer
Posts: 471
Joined: 10 May 2008

I summon the Norse god Thor and he starts smashing the speakers, as well as Ren's head. He continues his rampage.

I can see in HD now!

Dungeon Crawler
Posts: 633
Joined: 28 Jun 2009

The Norse god cringes, dying on entry. He cannot withstand hannah montanna.

Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

I conveniently respawn next in the hardware store, grab a power drill, some thermite and a blowtorch and head back to the stereo.

Dungeon Crawler
Posts: 633
Joined: 28 Jun 2009

..Ren notices something on the walls. He then wakes up in his hardware store.

What he noticed was small holes, which fired nails in the corridor leading up to the fallout 3 door. He also noticed a pit trap, so even if the nails (Which turned him into swiss cheese) failed, he still fell a story into his hardware store.

Master Looter
Posts: 1283
Joined: 24 Apr 2009

"im sorry i just can't help i-" im cut short by the cd cutting an artery.

"gah!, fuc...yo...." i pass out on ground, death comes swiftly.

I respawn outside a German pub, i begin a drink binge while singing folk songs with other drunkards!

Dungeon Crawler
Posts: 633
Joined: 28 Jun 2009

Hmm. Malevolent wanders around the massive room, noticing a button labled "Chicken". He presses it, the mall is now swarmed with chickens. (Malevolent = sitting in master control room. >:D) They seem easy enough to kill, however they may prove annoying.

Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

I fell a story, huh.

I start drilling holes in the ceiling above me, fill them with thermite, and use the blowtorch to open a hole in it.

I grab a ladder and climb to the inside of Malevolent's hideout, then kill him with the blowtorch. I press the Stop button and burn all the Hannah Montana CDs.

Dungeon Crawler
Posts: 633
Joined: 28 Jun 2009

You drill into a pit trap, and are killed by a heavy.

However, there is no penalty as you respawn down there anyway.

Master Looter
Posts: 2377
Joined: 29 Jul 2009

I uncover my ears. Thank God someone turned off that shitty Hannah Montana. After that, i run into a store and hide behind a counter for cover. I have a strange feeling that shit's about to hit the fan.

Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

Having turned off the annoying music, I now find myself in a pit trap again. Luckily, I have my ladder with me and manage to get out.

The corridor outside is now filled with murderous chickens. I ready my blowtorch for the fight.

Dungeon Crawler
Posts: 633
Joined: 28 Jun 2009

I respawn in the room

I then seal the floor.

Then I put on the Jonas Brothers, cackling manicailly.

Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

The lights flicker and die... my blowtorch goes out... the chickens start cackling in pain and their heads blow up.

I realize what's happening a moment too late, and fall to my knees as the music starts.

Malevolent Stranger shouts "YES! DIE, ALL OF YOU, DIE!"

I say "Don't you know? Mall-goers never die..."

I press a button and blow up the bomb I had left in the control room.

Adventurer
Posts: 378
Joined: 14 Sep 2009

Ha, my dear Malevolent, I am immune to Jonas Brothers!

on accont of my little sister...

I run to the Fallout 3-Style door only to be smothered to unconsciousness by chickens, then woke up 30 minutes later to the smell of delicious fried chicken and a stanger devouring some.

Dungeon Crawler
Posts: 633
Joined: 28 Jun 2009

"Fuck the sisters.." He died, respawning in the room again. He then puts on Poker Face, by Lady Gaga, clearly able to go on all day.

He then slams a button labeled 'stink'. The button releases a sulfuric odor into the mall, in adition to the chickens.

Master Looter
Posts: 1283
Joined: 24 Apr 2009

i see the chickens running around the bar.

"this is madness" one drunkard say's

"this is SPARTAAAAA!!!!" i shout out.

the drunkards now impressed with my timing act as my minions they swarm the mall to kill my foe's, i continue to drink.

Adventurer
Posts: 378
Joined: 14 Sep 2009

I laughed at Malevolent's pitiful attempt to stop me with music.

"You're gonna have to do better than that!" I yell at the door, then procceded to try and roundhouse kick it, which ends in failure and pain--and bone breakage.

I grab one of Ren's med packs and heal, while trying to cover my nose of the putrid scent.

Master Looter
Posts: 1283
Joined: 24 Apr 2009

my drunkard army marchs down the mall towards the fallout style door, they begin to unscrew the door from the hinges. i follow behind being held up two drunks singing.

"way hay and up she rises, way hay and up she rises, way hay and up she rises, early in the morning!" i sing obviously drunk.

The door falls down and me and my army pass by XIII's Number XIV to kill Malevolent Stranger.

Adventurer
Posts: 471
Joined: 10 May 2008

Solid Snake sneaks into the mall, killing Excitednuke with his cardboard box of DOOM!

I can see in HD now!

Dungeon Crawler
Posts: 633
Joined: 28 Jun 2009

As that fails, a trapdoor opens beneath Number's feet, dropping him and breaking his bones.

Malevolent then puts on good music, putting on Life Burns, while releasing tear gas into the mall.

Master Looter
Posts: 2377
Joined: 29 Jul 2009

After awhile, i rise from my cover, now aware that shit has not hit the fan... not yet at least.

Power Leveler
Posts: 3138
Joined: 8 Jun 2009

I finally manage to ge to the supermarket with my sniffer dog, and go to the ice cream part.

"Go find THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM, Mr. Sniffles."

Mr. Sniffles snuffles around for a bit, before finding the melted remains of THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM, and licking it all up.

Ican only stand by and watch as THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM goes down the gullet of an unworthy one. I sit down and cry for a bit, and then rip Mr. Snuffles apart with my bare hands.

I retrieve the ice cream from his stomach, and place it in a freezer, attatching a lolly stick, and I now have THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM!

At that moment, Jed comes round the corner. I run and hide in a freezer. After a while, I peek out - he is standing beside the freezer, but looking in the wrong direction. Yay!

I raise the corpse of Mr. Sniffles over my head, and prepare to whack Jed on the head.

Master Looter
Posts: 1178
Joined: 14 Jul 2009

While all this was happening, Azraellod and I were still continuing with our Star Wars-style battle. Of course, now we've been fighting for 3 days straight, and we decide to take a break.
"IN HELL!" I yell (whatever that means) and grab Azraellod and fling him over a banister, causing him to fall a considerable distance down to the first floor.
"Puh-puh-puh poker face, puh-puh poker face..." I sing lazily, then fall asleep.

Adventurer
Posts: 222
Joined: 20 Apr 2009

With my ice cream senses tingeing I realise that the impossible has happened that THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM is dead, gone, finisimo, and so I pressed to get revenge by hunting the lot of em down. But, some time later, then I witness a miracle happen, I can see Sirbrightside, about 50 yards away hiding amongst some freezers, and a reborn CHOCOLATE icecream in his right hand, however when I run towards him I slip on some butter on the floor, alerting him to my presence. My slip sends me flying into him, sending us both past the now mildly surprised Jed and unfortunately along with us goes flying the Last Chocolate Icecream which lands at Jed's feet, which me and SirBrightside look at in complete shock, that it has somehow remained in tact! We both rise slowly and dramatically and prepare for a fight of epic proportions. Personally I materialise a Light spear (lightsaber in spear shape) and prepare for my revenge! (however being a gentlemen I allow him time to get a weapon first).

Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

Pm0n3y:
After awhile, i rise from my cover, now aware that shit has not hit the fan... not yet at least.

What part of Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers, Lady GaGa and live chickens didn't you read?

Back on topic: Ah, I'm back at the supermarket. I see SirBryghtside and Claymorez preparing to fight, and Jed looking at THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM.

I run as fast as I can, tackle Jed out of the way, and grab THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM.

Clay and Sir sense a disturbance in the Force and turn around to face me.

Power Leveler
Posts: 4059
Joined: 23 Dec 2008

I manage to catch hold of the steel railing with my electromagnet, and slowly lower myself to the ground, thus avoiding a fatality.

I then turn my attention towards a nearby fight that looks like a real mess. I take out my 3rd sickle and throw it, this time aiming it at claymorez, stabbing him in the side, then pulling it back with the electromagnet before going in for another strike.

Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

Thanks to Azraellod's distraction, I manage to escape my pursuers with THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM. Running out of the store, I find a car in the corridor and jack it.

On my way to the hardware store, a police officer tells me to stop and asks for my license and registration.

Adventurer
Posts: 222
Joined: 20 Apr 2009

I run after REN, as fast as my legs can take me, all thoughts of SirBrightside lost, all my attention focused on the retrieval of THE LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM. However after noting the hardware store up ahead I then decide this is stupid for me, a man with God powers and then transform my legs into augmented power legs with built in bionics to make me run faster, with a top speed of 80mph, unfortunately I too am stopped by the policeman for my licence and registration number for my augmented legs, which apparently count as a veichle, which was not only problematic because just then Ren is allowed to go but because I had manifested them using my God powers I didn't have a registration form for them, and realised that Azraellod's well aimed sickle had torn my driver's licence off my clothing in all the commotion!

Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

When the police officer realizes I'm in a hurry, he decides to play hard... He tells me to walk in a straight line, touch the tip of my nose, do a somersault...

Anyway, I get bored, stab his carotid artery with the car keys and head to the hardware store.

OK, time for some tuning, Ren3004 style. 30 minutes later, my car comes out of the store, covered in metal plates and nails and with a blowtorch in place of the exhaust pipe.

Adventurer
Posts: 222
Joined: 20 Apr 2009

Realising that the officer is dead after 20 minutes of what I preserved to be the silent treatment and good cop bad cop to the extreme, I resumed my inhumanly fast run towards the hardware store and Ren and the all important LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM!

Power Leveler
Posts: 3356
Joined: 22 Jul 2009

TAKE THIS... I hit the gas pedal, and my car breaks through one of claymorez mechanical legs, leaving him crying on the floor.

With the LAST CHOCOLATE FUDGE ICE CREAM in the passenger seat next to me, I head towards my next destination.

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